OK!!
yeah ok, well i don't think i've written here in a couple of days...lets see...i have a new job, i works at a bakery and i hate it, but i has the weekends off so that's good and i makes more then minimum wage, which is also good....i haven't been doing much but working, i've been out to neals after work, we were supposed to go drinking tomorrow night but i can't get my money out of the bank and it's really pissing me off....i out my check in the bank monday night, i went to get money out lastnight and they put like a 7 day hold on it...so i went to the bank today to see if they would give me my money and the lady said because i didn't deposit it in the bank that i set up my account then she couldn't give it to me cause there is still another 4 day hold on it....my bank is the scotia bank in mt. pearl and i put my check in the one at the mall in st.john's...it's still the same bank just at different locations,so i'm going to go back to the bank tomorrow, this time i'm going to have my dad with me and i'm going to tell her that i need my money and if she don't give it to me then i'm going to close my account...i mean it's my money, they can't keep my money from me, what if i had bills to pay or something, then what would i do, well i'm going to switch banks anyways....but yeah, i was at neal's lastnight and he asked me to go to his grandparents wedding anniversary party with him, i thought he was going to take his other ex girlfriend, but i'm glad he asked me and he said he still cares a lot about me...i got all upset and stuff and told him how hard it is to love someone with all your heart and not get that love back...oh well, we are like bestfriends and i'm happy with that because it's better then not being friends at all.

why why why why?
yeah ok, well i got myself upset again from my last entry because i started thinking about me and my ex and how we used to be. He used to sing a song to me called "Never Make A Promise" by Dru Hill...it goes " you told me what you wanted, i gave you what you needed, i told you that i love you make it good for you and me, and i'll never make a promise that i can't keep...." yeah ok, i'm really crying right now, but anyways, he always used to tell me that he'd never make a promise that he couldn't keep.he used to promise me that he'd never break up with me and he did...i remember the first time he sang that song to me...we were in his room and he turned it on and started dancing with me and he started singing it to me....i started to cry and then he got right romantic and started undressing me and stuff and well you know the rest....i can remember that night like it was lastnight...and he wrote a poem for me too...we were together for about 2 months....and when we'd fight i'd think that he didn't love me anymore and he used to tell that if i ever thought that he didn't love me then to read the poem....i've read that poem so much since he broke up with me...why do guys promise you things and then only break your heart....i'm never falling in love again...if i do though....i'm not going to fall so hard or so fast...my mom used to tell me when me and neal first started going out not to get too attached to him because he'd only break my heart...i used to get mad at her because i honestly thought that we would be together forever....it's been almost 2 months since we've been broke up and i still love him like i did when we were together, i haven't stopped loving himone little bit and i can't imagine being with anyone else or loving anyone else..that's all i have to say for tonight

UPDATE!!!!
Yeah..well i've been away from the computer for a couple of days, i haven't been home because i've been spending all of my time with my ex boyfriend. I don't know what's on the go with us, we are so close, like bestfriends but he won't get back with me and we are still fucking and stuff. Well i should be happy that we are still close because i mean how many people break up and then are like bestfriends and still spend all of their time together? not many people. We've dpme a lot of talking in the last week about everything, we have such good conversations...I slept out to his house 3 times in the last week and we still sleep in the same bed and stuff like we used to...oh my god, the other night we were sitting up in his room, his room is in the basement and his window is under the patio...so we are sitting there talking and we hear someone up at the back door and something on the patio, he looked up and he said he saw a leg, so we went upstairs but no one was there, i was so scared....yeah and when we are sleeping together, the last couple of times i woke up and he was cuddling me and then i guess he'd realize what he was doing and he'd take his arm away...i miss cuddling with him, i loved it so much, burrying my head in his chest and his arms holding me, i always felt so safe in his arms....my last job i used to work 12 hours or more a day because the store was closing down and i would go out to his house after work and fall asleep in his arms everynight....i miss it so much that i'm starting to cry now. I love him so much, i can't help it, i wish he still loved me, he told me the other day though that deep down he still loves me. i wish so much that we could get back together. Anyways on to some other stuff..i started a new job today...it's a bakery called sweet temptations...it's going to be hard work, i don't know if i like it though, but i'm full time and i'm getting more then minimum wage..so that's good. i wouldn't have got this job if it wasn't for my dad...my dad knows the guy that owns it....so yeah...i think thats all i got to say now because i'm really sad right now.......and i didn't re read this because it's too long and i hate re reading long stuff, so if it don't make sense try to understand it....oh yeah...i love the way my page looks now...my friend sable did it for me....thanks sable....she's the coolest person in the world...i'm going to move to wherever she is and marry her brother just so we can be really cool sister in laws...haha....if only i could get everything that i want....but then again "when i get what i want, i never want it again..." but yeah....if i could just have a friend here like sable, i'd want it forever..too bad we live so far away

What a fucking night
ok, so i call my ex today and everything seems fine, i ask him to go to a movie and he says yes...so we go down to the mall, i see someone i know, i say hi and go on....we have the tickets for the movie, my ex gets really really mad at me and starts walking back to his house, so i follow, we get half way to his house and he decides to turn around and go to the movie, of course i keep following, he was really mad at me even after the movie so we go back to his house and fight some more....of course i'm crying....and he told me we were really close to getting back together....so i call my self a stupid bitch, which i am...so he hugs me and tells me to just forget about tonight and act like nothing happened, but i can't do that because we were close to getting back together but i ruined it.....i hope he changes his mind again tomorow because i really love him

Me and Neal
Well lately i've been spending a lot of time with my ex boyfriend neal, who i love very very much....he calls me up and asks me to go play basketball with him and of course i do.....anyways, i was at his house lastnight and we were talking and he told me that he don't want me out of his life...i wa so happy when he told me that anyways, i went out to his house agian tonight and we had so much fun, we played strip poker, i won the first game and he won the second, then we played our own little poker game but i'm sure no body wants to know about that, of course we ended up having sex before we got all dressed and shit..then we just lid on his bed and sang songs...it was so cool, i love just spending time with im and talking to him, then before i left we fooled around some more, but we aren't back together, but i wish we were, i still love him as much as i did when we were together, i never stopped loving him one little bit....anyways, that's all i got to say tonight

first entry
OK, this is cool, i never heard of this before now, i heard about it from sable on the holemusic.com messageboard...she's a really cool person, i love her.....anyways, i think i'm going to use this to write about how my day has been so you can all know what an exciting life i have..well i had an exciting night tonight but i'll write about that in a couple of minutes because i have to go back to the messageboard first....